Life is a Choice

The other day I got fed up with chasing my kid about his homework. Every day it was like pulling teeth. When I would bring up his homework it was always accompanied with him whining about how hard it is, how he doesn’t want to do it, wants to do something else, will do it later and would even start crying because its too much. It’s enough to make you lose your goddamn mind. I blamed the school, I blamed myself and I blamed him. Then I made a decision one weekend. I sat my kid down and gave it to him straight.

“Baby, I’m not responsible for you doing your homework. Ok?”

“Huh?”

“Everyday I chase you to make sure you do your homework and I get so frustrated as though it’s my responsibility. I feel like I’ve failed and done something wrong when you don’t do it and I get mad at you when you don’t really seem to care. But I’ve realized it can’t be my responsibility. Doing your homework is your responsibility. Okay?”

He’s confused, “ok…”

“So when we get home, I will remind you that you have homework and will help you if you ask for help but it is on you to actually do it. I won’t be mad if you don’t, but you’re the one that has to go to school and tell the teacher you chose not to do it.”

He’s starting to get it, “ok…”

“You also need to know that your homework is a part of what will get you into 2^nd grade.”

He’s now wide-eyed and completely aware of what is on the line “…OK.”

That Monday after our talk, this dude did his homework. I reminded him three times throughout the evening.

On our way home, “Alright so today you have Reading and English homework due tomorrow.”

When we got home, “Your English book is on your desk if you need it”

And while he ate dinner, “Any plans when you’re done eating?”

“Probably do my homework”, he looks at me at nods as he sticks some ravioli in his mouth.

“Cool, I’m going to be on the couch if you need help with anything”.

I left him alone and he actually did it. The next morning he was so proud of himself that he didn’t have to rush to do his homework. I could see it on his face, he owned up to a choice and felt the pride of the result.

You hear that life is a series of choices; well I’m going one step further. LIFE is a choice. Every single moment you suck air, you are making a choice that is part of the bigger picture. Will you get out of bed? Will you brush your teeth? Will you have breakfast? Will you own the day? Will you own your life?

We make excuses for our feeling lack of successful; money, family, friends, opposite-sex, same-sex, weight, job, kids. We even compare ourselves to other people who we think have more success and say things like “well they’ve had it easier”, “I haven’t had as much opportunity”, or “They grew up in money”. Fuck that. Fuck that. Fuck that. First of all “success” is a relative thing so figure out what success means to you. Second of all, don’t be comparing your ass to no one else except your ass; you are your own awesome badass self and deserve that. Thirdly, success is a choice so own it.

I don’t have a choice – I have to stay late at work; I don’t have a choice – I have to spend time with my friends/family. Those are choices, choices you are making as part of your bigger picture. As long as you know what you’re trying to achieve and where your priorities are there is no reason not to own up to every single choice you make.

There have been times I think about how lucky I am. I think “damn, I am so happy we don’t have to live in a car next week!” or “This job is even better than the last!” or “I’m so happy my kid isn’t a douchebag!” or “ Wow! I truly love this Man.” Then I realize…all these successes were choices… a long series of very hard choices that I tackled with conviction and focus in order to achieve my goals. Now, watching my kid accomplish things he himself is proud of is huge for me to witness. We all deserve to feel proud of our accomplishments. It’s those feelings of pride in our accomplishments that help us build and create so many more.