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Have Estrogen Will Cry

Last night I was extremely hormonal (I’ll admit it). I had some crazy previous days and had been extremely happy and productive. At this point my highs were about to meet my lows. As soon as I pick up my kid from the YMCA, I’m not cheery and fun lovey mama. My son picked up on my crankiness and reaches over to start rubbing my back as I walk him to the car.

“Want me to rub your back?”

I look down and he’s got these adorable big eyes that wonder if his little hands are doing the trick. I let him know that I was feeling a little down.

“Thank you baby that’s very sweet”

It’s about as much endearment as I can muster.

In the car, we are chock full of gear (lights, weed whacker, shoes) that all need to be returned to different stores. I’m ready to clean out my car quickly because it’s been like this for the last 3 days.

“When we’re done can we buy me new shoes?”

“No, I wanna go home” – bad mama

“But my shoes are falling apart” – bad mama

Deep sigh “okay but its going to be late so we have to be quick”

“Okay mama”

Lord knows this child needs some new shoes! What is wrong with me? Anyways.

We finally get through all the returns, the car is empty and we’re in front of the shoe store. I need a time out. He notices.

He unbuckles his seatbelt and quietly comes and puts his arms around me so he’s hugging my neck and the seat. He gives me the SWEETEST kiss on the cheek, looks down at me and sighs.

“Sometimes I have a bad day too… and people make me cranky. Here close your eyes”

He does something he’s never done before. He starts playing with my hair and it is exactly what I needed. I choke back tears and feel pretty horrible. The last two hours I’ve given him nothing but a militant cold shoulder combined with emotionless conversation. But he just let me be me. My true little man, I guess its not like we just started living together. I apologized the next morning. 

I’m going to say this right now. All women are a little crazy. If you are a woman, you need to accept this and you have no business being in a relationship with a woman if you cant accept this. It’s different for everyone. For some, the smallest thing can be an annoyance, for others, they get whiny and need a hug and then there’s general sluggishness (I usually get whiny and need a hug). But what is the same is that it is something we cannot change. It’s who we are and what makes us beautiful. Though, of course there are variables that will affect the experience. 

When I was young I felt everything astutely and felt at times I had no control over my emotions, I didn’t know what I wanted, who I was, where I was going and I was positive my parents just didn’t get it. Especially my mom (hah!) Now, my life is MUCH more in order. I don't go around spilling my estrogen mood swings everywhere. Now the difference is that when I’m on my way home and start crying randomly, I know it’s not random. I remember telling my insanely expensive and successful acupuncturist. She's a she and in her 40s.

"I literally felt just this insane need to cry and started sobbing!"

"I hate it when that happens" and we high five.

I can look at a calendar and tell you when I’m going to be hormonal, and like clockwork, EVERY fucking time, it will be that way. I warn my boyfriend ahead of time, he laughs and excuses me for any excessively whiny and needy texts for the next 24 hours. It usually lasts that long.

It can be embarrassing though. Even if we know it’s coming or can explain our behavior two days or a week later, we may feel some regret because of a momentary case of emotional diarrhea of the mouth. I have accepted this for who I am. Because it sometimes helps me too. I might be more emotional but sometimes it’s the push I need to be more honest, even if other times I know I’m just over reacting.

The next day I’m comforting a very good friend over the phone.

“I feel like I was way too excited to see him. I’m afraid I might have scared him off.  Now I’m freaking out. Like I was super excited.”

“Was he having a good time?”

“Well yeah, the chemistry was great”

“How much do you feel like you know each other?”

Through the course of the conversation I find out they have been talking for quite a while and know quite a bit about each other.

“Girl. Hold up. Stop. If you scared him at this point in the game then he is not ready for you. You are a grown ass woman and you are who you are when you’re happy and you are who you are when you’re stressed. You’re not changing and if he can’t handle you when you’re excited then he can’t handle you. ANYONE in a relationship with a woman can’t go all freaking out because their woman has mood swings!”

“Oh my god you’re right.”


Estrogen. It speeds us up. Slows us down. Makes colors brighter and sex better. Own it because it ain’t goin’ nowhere!

Now. Strut.








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